Fool
by AppleBomb
Summary: Shinpachi talks to Gin as he sleeps and emos a fair bit GintokixShinpachi


Title - Fool

Rating - I don't really know how I should put it, so I will put it as T-ish? I will put the M version on my livejournal if anyone says they want to read it XD

Summary - Shinpachi talks to Gin as he sleeps (and emos a fair bit)

Pairing - GintokixShinpachi

Warnings - Boy love, mentions of sex, nudity

Notes - IF YOU ARE SQUICKED BY TWO BOYS BEING TOGETHER, DONT READ IT PLEASE! I'm suddenly super into this pairing, and so I woke up and wrote another out of nowhere XD XD XD XD If you want me to write more, or post the link to the more 'adult version' on livejournal, then email me, or pm me or review. Don't feel obligated to review, because I hate when people are like "REVEEW N I WIL RIGHT MOAR, N IF U DUN I WIL EET UR BAYBEEZ" But if you do review nicely I will be SUPER happy, at the risk of sounding retarded for saying super. XD Please enjoy!

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"Hey Gin, remember when we first met?" Shinpachi lay next to him on Gin's bed, his head was on Gin's shoulder and he looked pensive. "You said that what is important to me is important to you, or something, right? You barely knew me. Why did you feel that way, or say it?" There was no response, but Shinpachi hadn't expected one anyway, and by the look in Shinpachi's eyes, he hadn't needed one either. Not because he knew the answer, just because it didn't really matter. He was just talking for the sake of talking. It was nice to be able to have a serious conversation with Gin any way he could.

"You know, I can't remember when I fell in love with you. I think it just sorta happened. I wish there had been a single, decisive moment that you reciprocated. It would have been a moment complete with fireworks and angelic music and blooming flowers. A fantastic moment to tell Big sister's children about when I am a lonely old man and they come to visit," He laughed softly, a laugh that was anything but genuinely finding humor in what he was saying. A laugh to fool himself. He pressed further into Gintoki's side and murmurred, "I really do love you, you know. I would trade anything just so you could live happily, and peacefully if you wanted. Forever." Shinpachi shivered and closed his eyes, feeling the pinprick of tears starting to sting them.

"I know you don't want to hear that though, right? That I love you? I..." Shinpachi sat up, the blankets on him falling and pooling around his bare waist as he slipped on his glasses. He felt more than just a twinge of discomfort where he sat. Gin wasn't particularly gentle that night. Shinpachi had resolved not to complain about at least this matter however. Knowing he would never win Gin's heart pushed him to do all he could to keep these nights with Gin, he would never give these up if he could help it. Having this with him, he could keep close without being too suspicious.

Gin always fell asleep right after he finished, and Shinpachi used the time to talk to him. Sometimes he would talk for hours, watching Gin sleep as he spoke. These scant hours were so soothing to Shinpachi, even as he mourned the emotional distance between them, but this was the first time he brought that up. The first time he had admitted out loud that he was in love with Gin. Gin had so many people around him to choose, people much more amazing than Shin, and he was sure that he wouldn't get anywhere with Gin except as a way to release sexual tension.

Shinpachi stood up and limped to the window. He raised the knuckle of his thumb to his lips and bit down lightly as he looked out to the deserted street. Kagura was at his family house with his sister so that she didn't barge in while they were enjoying eachother's company. Normally, he would worry about them teaming up and taking over the world, but for these times with Gin, he could care less. He had more to worry about than the world.

"I love you Gin-san. So much it hurts, it hurts so badly. I love you, I love you, I love you," he repeated this phrase over and over, his voice cracking as he cried, his forehead pressing against the glass in front of him, the rims of his glasses clinking as they collided with the window.

He soon fell silent and pulled back after a few moments. He rubbed his eyes raw to rid them of tears and looked at his reflection in the glass, and just behind him was Gintoki. Shin quickly turned to face him and flinched away from the man's gaze, but Gin didn't move a muscle.

"I'm sorry Gin-san, I didn't mean to wake you, I um," Shinpachi stuttered as his eyes darted frantically back and forth, looking for a way to escape to his clothes and out the door. Gin looked on dispassionately.

"You didn't wake me." Gin's voice was husky, like it usually was when he just woke up, or just after _the act_ as Shinpachi called it.

"Then what got you up?" Shinpachi innocently asked, still trying to figure how to get out of the conversation he was sure was about to come up, trying to keep Gin from shunning him completely. Gintoki looked at him as if he were stupid. "How much did you hear then?" Shinpachi swallowed thickly and averted his eyes, he had a good idea and he wasn't sure he wanted to hear Gin say "All of it."

He didn't have to worry about that though, as the silver haired ex-samurai just said "Shin-chan," quietly, desperately. He placed his hand on the back of Shin's neck and used it to pull him close.

"Fool," Said Gintoki as he cradled him against himself, his voice full of emotion, "Fool."

END

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What did you think? I think I am too long winded. I am some sick mix between short and long winded...I can never find the perfect balance. ANYWAY...

I have an idea for this from Gintoki's point of view, tell me if you want me to write that up, and if you want me to post the link to the M rated version of this on LJ, gimme a holler, okay? XD And again, I would LOOOOOOOOOOVE if people reviewed, but you don't have to feel obligated. Okay? Thanks! See you again!


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